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Thank You
Dear Vastness, dear freedom, dear laughter that forms it all, thank you for not turning your back on me when i turned my back on you. Why you chose an arrogant, stubborn, intense person as your lightning conductor will always be a mystery. Thank you all the same.
Our students, patients, babies, you have trusted us, you have pushed me to care, to grow, to take on what i cannot... each of you i treasure. Thank you.
Innumerable spirit guides surround me, you who I've irritated, frustrated, and rarely delighted: To you my teachers, friends, critics & family a great huge thanks.
Artist
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Poet & Writer

My path did not begin through meditation. Or even a belief in God. Its roots lay in a deep feeling of being an exile, a stranger. Someone trapped in a lie.

There was a time i burnt myself with ciggarette butts. Raising dark, puffy burns in rows. It was my way of telling God come out of hiding or else. As i hammered on the doors of an uncaring universe -- something happened. It looked at me {and my sheer idiocy}and talked back. Through a blazing set of cosmic experiences.

I was transported to the heart of everything, beyond, time, beyond space, before all worlds. This, our true home, is a place of utter freedom, incomprehensible power, fever-pitch creativity... here all worlds are born and gathered back.

The aftermath of cosmic experiences is a little like a shanty town hit by a hurricane. Above me lay a snarling set of high-octans stars. Below lay the debris of beliefs.

Hard questions needed answering. Could it really be? Was i fooling myself?

The next few years were of searching. Of being catapulted way out-of-body. Of seeing that we are connected to each other. Of talking to atoms, stone, trees, animals. Of encountering other lives. Of being taken deeper by spirit guides.

It sounds neat, but... it often took years for me to put 2 & 2 together. For example, if we are made of aware energy, then healing should have been an obvious implication. But it was only till Celia my wife began to master Reiki that it really hit home. It was not just theoretic freedoms, but utterly practical truths.

Now seeing the ultimate, is a dangerous thing. It starts swallowing you, like a snake that's grabbed a rat. On the one hand, everything makes sense, at the same time, all the things i was doing became supremely meaningless. The force i could use in my everyday world increased, and yet midway through i would find it all tasted of ashes.

Deep in my being a poison ran, a poison called God. You feel you are dying, the familiar falls away like shed skin, but the new self within has no face. And when it emerges, it is the complete anti-thesis to who you are. Anguished poems loose their anguish. Art infected by meaning betrays the avant garde. Here and there the weed of love pokes through. Someone is tearing through you, ripping through... You try to resist, get smashed. But... that no longer interests you.

When you have seen something wonderful, two contradictory impulses come to mind, first you want to keep it all to yourself, and you begin to share it. Then something that fixes you forever, appears...

Your first student. Someone who says, "Be my guru..." And while the words scare you, something inside you stirs, it has heard.

The people we accompany inward are like our babies. We treasure the thrill of the first time they step towards God. Our hearts lurch as this one goes too deep, that one gets lost in a desert.

Over the last 15 years, Celia &, i have been taking people towards the mystery. At first we did so, one at a time. Now, we reach out with greater force.

O! God
My parents have always told me see for yourself. Think for yourself. Hold on to your truths even if the world is ringed against you. Much of what i see contradicts the beliefs they hold true. But they have upheld my right to do so. And so my first thanks is to them.
Hours in bliss can be disconcerting to others, unless of course they are even more rooted in the light than you. Dear Celu thank you for putting up with me.
Dearest Buffy, my dog and astral master, thank you for sharing our lives, for humbling my proud mind. For teaching me to lie in the sun, and running on astral clouds.
Spiritual Path
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Core Truths